glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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