dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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