oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
