Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
