Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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