I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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