I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
