I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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