my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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