If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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