I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
