I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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