nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
