Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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