Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
