at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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