your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
