i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
