he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
