Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
nutella sex= disaster
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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