How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
