she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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