She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
