This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
