Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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