ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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