I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
well you can't waste a boner
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
