My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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