I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
