Joe is yelling at the trees again.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
