Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
