We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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