My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
