Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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