omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This baby is an asshole
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
