Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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