I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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