I think my fart just growled at me.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
