This girl is more easily done than said...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
