yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
