Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
