Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
