I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
