it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
