I've blown a few things in my day
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
