remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
