I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
