im drinking this country out of the recession.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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