he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
