They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
