we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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